Blogmas Day 23 | Reflection

Hey guys! Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I don’t know. New years is coming closer and I can’t help notice all the things I’ve been through this year.

I sit quietly blankly staring at my hands. Listening to the soothing pieces of Yiruma. It just makes you wonder. Life, everything. Sometimes you just have to sit down and think about everything. Looking back this year I’ve learned more about myself, about God, about Life. Things just seems to come into place when you think about it. The road you followed until now. The memories of the past that you just can’t let go. The things you’ve learned and the experiences you’ve come to come about. Sometimes the only time when we realize something is when delve deeper into the depths of our minds. When you talk to yourself It might seem crazy but when you talk to yourself that is usually the time when you realized things that just didn’t make sense before.

This year is full of Tears and Joys. I’ve experienced and learned more about what needs to be done. What’s right and wrong. We never stop learning something new. I might be an expert when it comes to what goes into the minds of people but it seems that the world never ceases to amaze me. Things I never new came about and I feel like I’m a better person.

I say I’m strong, I show people that I am. Deep inside I’m fragile and vulnerable. I fall in the smallest of things deep inside. What others might see as a strong and ever moving forward person that I am. Its just what I show outside even if deep Inside I’m a whole different person. I’m like any other human. I smile to show my will. Behind every smile is something deeper people can’t imagine.

The way I project myself shows. How I help people I see in need. Sometimes I don’t care what I feel anymore. I just want others to be happy. For those I love. Even if some don’t feel the same way. I keep feelings deep down inside locked up. I’m amazed I haven’t went into a mental breakdown and that I’m still standing. I do everything I can for people I hold dear. Unconditionally doing my best for them. Why isn’t it ever enough? The love I give, the feelings I share.

In the past few days I fell in love with a girl. She’s everything I could ask for. Simple yet elegant. I never really planned to fall in love. I never planned anything. It all just happened. I wish I didn’t though. She started feeling awkward the next thing I new she was aloof. the small times we shared all gone. In a blink of an eye. If she’s ever reading this right now. I just want to say I love you. No more. No less.

Friends… I’ve learned a lot about people. How they use others to achieve what they want and when they’re done with you they’re gone. I don’t know. I consider only 1 percent of all the people I know as actually friends. Others they’re just people I know. People who come when they need you.

I want to spend my life only with a few people. Supporters, followers I love them all. Even though only few are really my friends. I know there are people supporting my backs. Others I know they’re just doing it for fun. Supporters are only there as long as you entertain. Stop only few will follow.

People come, People go. Once appearing in your life. Sometimes they’ll just fade in the winds never to return. I believe that one day. I’ll that person who deserves my heart. Who can love, as much as I love them. That feeling of unconditional love. No matter what.

Someday. As for now we must strive to become better. Only then will we be able to do something more in life. All those problems, obstacles, challenges they’re all just there to prove to yourself that you deserve that reward at the end.

I leave my path to God. Every bad thing that happens in my life I know that its for the best. So that in the future everything would fit perfectly.

Listen to the symphonies of life. Its all like a big song, like a puzzle. Waiting to be fixed. There might be some blanks, something wrong as it seems but when its over you know that its finally all right. Because it fits all together.

Life gives us a choice. A path to choose. What we make of it defines who we are. What we do with it shows others what kind of person we are. We might see life in a different perspective but surely we ourselves now deep inside what’s right. We choose our own life and we make it as we please. No one else can choose for us. To live for something better. We might not see it now but we now its there. We just need the right guide. The light to show us the right way.

So I say to you all. Learn to be content. We have all that we need. We don’t need to search more but if we do we know if it will do us harm or good. We must not be greedy. We must do what is right so that we will get what we deserve.

Do good and receive good. Do bad and at first it might seem right but in the end it would fall upon you. Be content in what you can get. Don’t do evil to get what you want.

Remember.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
    He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
    he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

Love the lord and do good. Be the best that you can be. I can assure you with God’s help you will have a bright future ahead of you. Remember to be happy. Have the will. Face every problems with a smile.

I will end this here. With love in my heart and the things I realized while writing this. Sometimes we just have to talk to ourselves and look deeper in our hearts to understand. Love the lord and love yourselves.

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